Me and my Dyslexia

This is very long but i hope you read it and it helps you to see this disorder more clearly. Dyslexia…. Dyslexia – a disorder that primarley effexts reading and riting, Dyspraxia- a coodnation disorder, Dyscaluclia – basically Maths dyslexia. All these disorders are very closley related if you have one you more then likley have traits of the other 2 or another one. However you may just have one of these disorderd.

Me and my Dyslexia.

Image: Kristine Lewis via Creative Commons

I can and will not speak for everyone who is Dyslexic as its like a finger print. Although it is primaerly reading and riting it can also efferct other things in everyday life.

I have struggled all through my life with reading and riting but other things also. Through school i was bullied,i was given detention every day or had to stay behind in class to finish my work. I had no help what so ever not from school.or at gome. Even though it was clear i was struggling. It seemed to me the further i got in school the harder it got the worse my work was. When i went to college i was tested for dyslexia i was diagnosed with the condition. I have got where i want to be. I have 2 beautiful girls, the man of my dreams, and a job to die for my donkeys.

Let me try and explain abit about me.

I find it extreamy difficult to read. For i stance i have only ever read 1 book cover to cover word for word. That book was Black Beauti. It took me 2 and a half years to read. When i read i read word for word and picturise the scene (i am not sure if anyone elese does this or if this is the norm) e.g when reading black beauti i would pictur a black.horse next to a chesnut harnesed up in a carrage having their heads vilontly forsed up witj a horrid rain down theit main….. I can not rwad a full page or even look at a full page of riting as all the words are one justlikethisanditsdifficulttoebenlookathepage. The letters can jimp around jtsu lkei thsi. I panic when im asked to read something.

Riting is so much like reading. I can right but i get muddled up with my letters expecally if i rite lots. Sometimes i know how to rite something but something happens from my brain to my hands and its ritten rong. I have to visulise each letter as i rite it. I still have to look at my hands for bs and ds. I also seem to miis whole words out of a sentance

It slightly effects my coordnation. For instance i could not drive a manuel car even though i had a few lessions in one. I can not seem to the clutch and gears. It was impossible for me so automatic it is.

Speaking. I sometime find it difficult to put it across what i want to say or i will say something but mean it differently. I am always appologising for this. I sometimes stutter or i forget waht im saying in the middle of whay i am sayinh. Inwill repeat what i am saying i know i am doing it but cant help myself.

Other stuff. I am slow very slow at doing things. People say something to me and sometimes it takes me a few seconds to take in what they say. Some time people think im.being ignerant but i honetly am.not. or i have to think about what to say. My confidence is so low..i have been in my job for 15 years now and its only been this last year that i have felt i have fitted in and joined in conversations, putting my opinions across, or being a bit more indwrpendent at the job i do.

People have had a go at me pleanty of times for either being slow or ignoring them or doing things slightly diffetent. I can not explain why i do what i do or how i do it as i feel that people will think i am using my dyslexua as an excuse. I can honestly say i have never or will never do that. However i have never hidden that im dyslexic i have always been very open about it.
This is my Dyslexia. Every dyslexia id like a finger print no 2 people have it the same. Noone can wkno how you are with your disorder no matter you have. However i hope this has given you a insite of dyslexia

May i say thank you for reading this i know its been long but i hope it helps you understand it better.

 

This post was written by Vikki Blake using our Create an article for South Leeds Life page.

 

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4 Replies to “Me and my Dyslexia”

  1. Vikki, I am one of the lucky ones in that my mother taught me the alphabet and reading simple things (the cat sat on the mat type stuff) before I started school or who knows how badly it would have affected me. I can read and write well but I put that down to educating myself once I left school as dyslexia was rarely acknowledged in the 60s and I got no help there – but only suffered one detention session for failing to spell station (my mother created merry hell and they never dared do it again!). In fact I can probably read better and faster than the average reader. However I am still an atrocious speller (thank goodness for spellcheck!) an abominable typist, really struggle to read out loud (I have to read sections to myself first) and am ‘form blind’ – questions seem to be written in gobbledygook and the harder I try to understand them the worse they get, stress then builds up and the letters begin to slide off the page. And yes, I’m dyscalculate too and no amount of effort on my part has improved that, but not dyspraxic. I was the best rounders player at school, I prefer a manual car and when young was a keen horsewoman. I’ve not had it as hard as you yet have still struggled but have never been ashamed and am pleased you have never felt that way either.

  2. Vikki I so understand what you go through. I too have dyslexia and so do both of my children. At times it can be so frustrating trying to get other people to understand what it is like. I finally learned how to read when I was 11 years old. Up until that point my teachers just didn’t get it. I was lucky, however. My best friend’s mom was a teacher. She was my 4th grade teacher and she saw right away that I had dyslexia. She called my parents in to talk to them to explain why I had a difficult time reading. My mom said, ” I finally understand why my daughter is so stupid.” I wasn’t stupid I just couldn’t read. I also couldn’t do math. My son has a very difficult time with math too. Despite all the hard times I have had with Dyslexia I look at it as a gift. You might think that is strange but I see the world differently than someone who doesn’t have dyslexia. And that’s okay. I am also an artist and I have never been one to stay in the lines if you know what I mean. I want you to know I admire you. Keep on doing what you’re doing, it’s okay! We are both blessed that we have people who love us just the way we are. How many people do you know who can say that?!

  3. Vikki
    I was refreshing to recognise some of your experiences I was assessed as Dyslexic last year I am now 58 years old, I was lucky to have parents who tried hard to make sure I was enthused about reading and knowledge but still I never ever seemed to achieve the potential that teachers expected. I did a vocational qualification as a community education worker ironically responsible for adult literacy. I got a degree at 40 and am now a senior manager in local Government. However, that story does not tell about the serious panic attacks when public speaking, the extra hours and days completing reports that others could do in an afternoon. The impact of that on my family and my health. Reading and re-reading several times to get the meaning, my inability to get jokes immediately, my inability to cope in a crowded room. It became more obvious during an illness and the medication exaggerated my short term memory problem and close colleagues would complain about my “gobbledygook” e-mails and memos I always felt a bit of a fraud and could never understand why I moved up the ladder as I had no sense of self-confidence. Like most Dyslexics, I developed complex coping strategies without knowing that’s what I was doing. Since my assessment, I have had difficulty getting my employers to take the required actions to assist, but I also began to discover the creative side of my neurodiversity, and have since developed my interest in photography and began to appreciate that it was creative thinking that got me through and noticed, looking at problems from different angles. I have been very lucky but I have also discovered that turning what people see as a disability as a strength, an advantage and being resilient, persistent and determined is the key. In short to any dyslexics out there it’s not easy and hard work but stick at it and find your advantages, because odds are you have skill and talent that nondyslexics value. A great article. Thanks

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