According to researchers at Cornell University, the average adult makes around 35,000 decisions every day.
Most are so small we barely notice them, when and how we brush our teeth, what to eat, or choosing to have yet another “five minutes” scrolling on our phone before bed. On their own, these choices and decisions seem unimportant. But together, they create what’s known as the compound effect, small, repeated actions that create something bigger over time.
In December 2023, I decided to renew my gym membership. I’d been thinking about it for months. Micro-thoughts of not liking how I looked in photos, the too-tight jeans, feeling uncomfy in a dress I’d recently worn as a wedding guest, not to mention low energy and a general feeling of apathy. Deep down, I resigned myself to the idea that I’d probably go for a few weeks and then give up, as I had before.
The idea of committing day after day, week after week, felt impossible. Then something in me shifted, instead of imagining the long term, I told myself, just go today.
It’s not simply the decision to ‘go today’ that has kept me on track five times per week almost two years later, it’s the smaller micro-decisions around it. Setting my alarm with high energy music to perk me up, the minute I open my eyes. Putting my gym kit out the night before. Leaving my trainers by the door. These micro steps reduce barriers and help to make the bigger choice, of actually going, a million times easier. And over time, I’ve built consistency. What took a lot of thinking about before has become an automatic no brainer, I just get up and go!
The same principle applies to life’s turning points. Ending a relationship, leaving a job, or breaking off a friendship rarely comes down to one single choice or thought. It’s not usually one argument, one comment, or one bad day. It’s an accumulation of things that irritate us, lateness that becomes a pattern, an offhand remark that lingers, the feeling of not being heard or understood. Each perceived slight or disagreeable moment begins to add up, until something finally tips the balance and we say, enough is enough.
Did you know that the thoughts you choose, positive or not, deliberate or not, are reinforced by your brain? That’s thanks to the Reticular Activating System (RAS), a bundle of nerves in our brainstem that acts like a filter for information. It decides what to pay attention to among the endless noise of life.
When I started going to the gym, at first it was an effort, learning new routines, feeling a bit sore and achy. But once I began to feel the benefits, more energy, clearer thinking, a sense of momentum, jeans that fit, a cheeky compliment here and there, the reasons to keep going seemed to appear everywhere. The RAS was highlighting the positives, showing me more opportunities to stay consistent. In simple terms, what we choose to notice, we train our brain to find more of…
Have you ever noticed how easily habits creep into your life? They often slip in quietly without us realising. I used to read a few pages of a book in bed each night, but recently I realised I hadn’t picked one up in ages. Instead, I was scrolling on my phone, which left me feeling exhausted in the mornings. I knew it wasn’t good for me, yet I’d still think “just one more scroll” or “ten more minutes”, which quickly became another hour.
The great news is that change doesn’t need to feel daunting. Choosing to be more aware of the habits and routines that don’t serve us makes it easier to shift them. For me, it was simply choosing to read a few pages of a book again each night and spending less time on my phone. And the results speak for themselves, I feel more peaceful and ready to sleep, more energy in the morning and I’m enjoying reading again. What began as a micro decision has had a really powerful impact on my wellbeing.
In a world that often feels divided, one micro choice worth remembering is that you can step back from disagreement. Choose to listen rather than jump in. Choose to look for what connects us instead of what separates us. These may feel like small acts, trivial even , but they are things we can all do to contribute to a larger sense of harmony in our communities and in ourselves one little thought or decision at time.
The big transformations we all seek, health, happiness, wealth, stronger relationships, a sense of purpose, rarely hinge on one defining moment or decision. They’re the result of thousands of micro choices, compounding quietly until one day we realise just how much they’ve shaped us.
Shannon Humphrey is a First Aid for Mental Health Instructor. Find out more about her work at www.pathwaysforpositivity.com
Photo: Shutterstock
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