Why do men and women have different shopping habits? A man goes clothes shopping, picks a tie, a shirt, trousers, he knows exactly what he wants, pays and then takes his purchase home. I am sure if you’re a guy whose been shopping with a woman reading this now, you know exactly where I am going with this.
On Sunday 11 May 2014, I was asked by ‘her indoors’ to go clothes shopping at the White Rose Centre. I promised years ago that I would not do this again, due to a bad experience, but I thought it be different this time round. So decided to succumb to what to me is the eighth deadliest sin. I know there is only supposed to be seven, but bear with me. Now most experienced men know, when you go shopping with a woman you need the Wisdom of Solomon, the patients of the president of the United Nations and the virtue of mother Theresa, and be prepared to tell the odd white lie just to save the peace. You know what I mean.
After visiting the 10th shop, looking for a dress that matched a pair of shoes and a handbag in the colour of jaune, but it just looked like yellow to me, obviously you pronounced it in a French accent so it sounds more exotic. Then she asked me “Do you think this dress makes me look fat?” “No no no love” I say (I’m thinking please o please choose this dress). Then she says “I don’t know why the designers made this dress so tight fitting”. I mumble agreement not wanting to add to the distress.
Have you noticed that department stores always have seats outside of women’s changing rooms. This is where I’m sat (store 6) in BHS, along with other men, sad, lonely, frustrated wanting to commit hara-kiri. After two hours of looking for a jaune coloured dress. She eventually settles on the first dress we looked at two hours ago. The look on my face. Well – she questioned my love and my commitment to her, as I looked as though I’ve been psychologically torched. Now, I was in need of counselling and two weeks of respite in the Caribbean, on some soaked beach minus shops.
“Something to eat?” I say, “Only a light salad for me” she says in response.
As I have already professed, I am not a shopping addict. But I do love food. So after my enforced shopping marathon, we decided to look for some where to eat.
The White Rose Shopping Centre has created at one end of the first floor balcony area dinning experience, comprising of 17 of the UK’s best known eateries to choose from, promoted by a campaign called ‘Grub’s Up’. Take it from me, it’s pointless trying to resist, just give into your natural hunger and go looking for your favourite meal. I am a chicken man, so obviously I head for Nando’s. For starters I had houmous with peri peri drizzle, with strips of warm pitta bread. Followed by a main meal platter – comprising of a two whole Chickens, large fries, coke, Mediterranean salad, with peri peri extra hot sauce and the peri peri lemon and herb sauce. No desert, but we have a coffee.
Must try one of the other eating places next time, but think I will cut back on the shopping though.